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BURKE COLUMN: Will you marry me? Columnist just loves March Madness
I watched the NCAA Tournament play-in game. I said I would not, and honestly believed myself.
I had no interest whatsoever in either Mount St. Mary's or Coppin State. I did not care who won.
And yet, I watched. Granted, I avoided tuning in for the entire contest. But I did watch long enough that I felt compelled to look up which Maryland-based school is closer to Warrenton (Mount St. Mary's, by about 70 miles).
March Madness has me completely in its grip.
That CBS theme song starts playing, I hear Greg Gumbel's alluring vocals and I'm lost in a trance.
So — even though the tournament will be well underway by the time you read this — come with me now, as I offer your primer toward total March Madness enjoyment.
Forget the brackets: I will not follow my own advice here, but trust me on this one. There is no point in ruining a perfectly good tournament day because you are panicking that San Diego is about to knock out Connecticut, thus destroying your West Regional picks.
Let it go. If you win, you win. If not, it's fine, just enjoy the ride.
Turn the volume up for Gus Johnson: You may not know the name, but you know the voice. Johnson (a Detroit native — bonus points in my book) is arguably the most enthusiastic sports broadcaster ever. During the 2006 tourney, when UCLA rallied to beat Gonzaga, he was essentially incoherent down the stretch — just shouting at the top of his lungs.
Picture watching the game at a bar while the guy next to you broadcasts the game in between shots. It is that much energy.
You have no doubt heard his work, and he will call games throughout the first four rounds this year. Do not miss him.
Pick a team ... in every game: Look, my alma mater Michigan has not made the Big Dance since 1998. I know, I know — we're awesome. Not a problem, though, if you attack the tournament games right. I recommend picking a team to root for in every single game that tips off.
That way, you're always interested, even very invested by the second half. Or if CBS does its switch-a-roo to look in on other games, you are covered there too!
Root for Oregon because you like its uniforms. Cheer on St. Joseph's because you are religious. Adopt Davidson because you have a son named David (stay with me on that one?).
It does not matter how you pick your teams, but find some and make them your own.
Stay up for “One Shining Moment”: This does not apply for a couple of weeks.
But the tournament-ending “One Shining Moment” video montage is a goosebump creator that makes “Oprah's Big Give” or “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” look like episodes of “Who's the Boss?” in comparison.
What? I'm the only one who gets choked up during “One Shining Moment”? And no one else thinks “Who's the Boss?” is hilarious?
Liars.
Invite me over: (Note: This item applies only to those of you with large HDTVs)...
So you're still struggling to enjoy the games? I can fix that. In college, I would save up absences so I could use them on the first Thursday and Friday of the tournament, sick or not.
One year, the tournament fell on St. Patrick's Day, so I went out at 5 a.m. to celebrate the holiday, came home and napped, and still woke up again for the tip of the 12:15 p.m. games.
I can get you excited about this.
Now, what time does Mount St. Mary's play? Did you know that school is just 82 miles from Warrenton?
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